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The Bang Bang Theories

I Can’t Quit Us

Lawdy, Reader! I was beginning to think I’ve quit us here.

Rest easy. I’ve just been on an unintentional hiatus. My words of nonsense are still here for you. I can hear your sighs of relief all the way over here, where I sit naked on my back deck in the middle of the city, cocooned by the possibly inaccurate thought that no one can see me. I mean, how else am I supposed to get my Vitamin D, Reader? You can’t do that with clothes on. That sun needs to PENETRATE into your bones to keep you healthy. I’m health-conscious in a way that lets me make excuses for being naked in public-ish.

If I had a knock-out body I would never wear clothes. I know that’s a vision you now can’t unsee in your mind’s eye. Vision it with the body of J Lo in your mind, and you’ll feel better about that.

But back to where I’ve been, when I’m not sitting nakey on the deck.

I’ve been on a hiatus not just with you, Reader, but with myself as well. I pulled open my journal that I stuffed into a dresser drawer who knows how long ago, and apparently I had some lofty 21-day challenge goals.

This happened so long ago, I don’t even remember when I got this brilliant idea to give myself a 21-day challenge, but obviously I stopped right after laying out the plan.

I also paid for an online class in May and haven’t started Class 1 yet. I just sidetracked myself, and went over to check when the class expires, and I have until July 3rd to take 12 classes.  Feels do-able.

Right after I have some breakfast. At noon-thirty.

This girl was just rustling around down below my deck. I fed her a Honeycrisp.  Now she’ll go eat my few flowers.

Then I looked to my right, and this little fucker was giving me The Eye, looking for his peanut butter sandwich.

So I got up and made him one. Because wildlife is the boss of me.

And this is probably why I haven’t been here for you, Reader, in a good long month.  Because I’m literally getting sidetracked by a squirrel, and then I go off chasing on an entirely ‘nother path.

Now Reader, I know you didn’t come here for this bullshit non-post. I completely understand and will be issuing refunds at the door.

However. This little writing was needed to get myself back in the groove of writing something. Consider this a test for myself, to see if i still know how to put words together.

This evening I will tell you the real story of what’s going on at Chez Bang Bang. I’ll be drinking some peach moscato and letting the words flow off my fingertips, like cheap, slightly sweet wine.

Lower your expectations. It’s still not that exciting.

But hey. I never promised you a rose garden. In fact, I would never promise that because I hate gardening.

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