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The Bang Bang Theories

Eye On The Prize

I don’t know at all actually am almost certain that a Florida Bug bit me below my eye and somehow injected me with a sacfull of Baby Bugs right in the corner of my eyeball, where they are at this very moment incubating and will erupt and – in this order – 1/ blind me and 2/ it won’t matter if I’m blind because if that does actually happen I will be d.e.a.d from a heart attack directly after the babies start spilling from my face.

Current state of my peeper is that it is itchy and red and when I took a photo of it to see it up close for myself and to show you, Reader, because it’s time for some full frontal between us, well, let’s just say it’s the only illogical logical explanation.

A picture is worth 300 words, so see for yourself:

I have been EATEN. UP. with bug bites this past week or so.  In between all the very showoffy freckles on my face, I’ve got lumps that either need to be seen by Dr. Pimple Popper MD or I have been bitten by some assholie Florida-type no-see-ums-sandflee-mosquito-maybe-part-gecko-because-they-are-everywhere-and-have-probably-mated-with-a-biter type bugs.

Also, those lumpy lumps are all over my arms and legs, too, and a lot on my feet and ankles and what the fuck, Reader.  No one told me Florida was so bitey. Not one warning of this, Reader, and for that, I blame you, because one of you must have known.


One thought on “Eye On The Prize

  1. I got a red ant bite on my foot that itched for a year but ordinarily bugs don’t like me that much.
    Once we were staying in the Everglades when the swarms of mosquitooooos came in. They hit about dusk and would ride in on your clothing. I always knew the south was buggy but it never was a problem that I can remember. But my memory is failing.
    Are you using bug repellant? A bunch of us were in Wisconsin out walking. I kept telling them they better use this stuff I kept putting on my legs. Flies were biting the shit out of my legs and I kept applying more and more. Finally realized they were not bothering anyone else. They were feasting on the bug repellant. It must have been karo syrup! I finally had to go in a store restroom and wash my legs.
    Hope things get better, my dear sweet niece.

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