don’t know at all actually am almost certain that a Florida Bug bit me below my eye and somehow injected me with a sacfull of Baby Bugs right in the corner of my eyeball, where they are at this very moment incubating and will erupt and – in this order – 1/ blind me and 2/ it won’t matter if I’m blind because if that does actually happen I will be d.e.a.d from a heart attack directly after the babies start spilling from my face.
Current state of my peeper is that it is itchy and red and when I took a photo of it to see it up close for myself and to show you, Reader, because it’s time for some full frontal between us, well, let’s just say it’s the only
illogical logical explanation.
A picture is worth 300 words, so see for yourself:
I have been EATEN. UP. with bug bites this past week or so. In between all the very showoffy freckles on my face, I’ve got lumps that either need to be seen by Dr. Pimple Popper MD or I have been bitten by some assholie Florida-type no-see-ums-sandflee-mosquito-maybe-part-gecko-because-they-are-everywhere-and-have-probably-mated-with-a-biter type bugs.
Also, those lumpy lumps are all over my arms and legs, too, and a lot on my feet and ankles and what the fuck, Reader. No one told me Florida was so bitey. Not one warning of this, Reader, and for that, I blame you, because one of you must have known.