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The Bang Bang Theories

Under Construction

Hi Reader, Hey!

It’s been a while.


For a girl who’s not working, I’m sure awfully bizzzzzy.  And I look around Chez Bang Bang and just don’t see where I’ve made any progress.

I have applied for every possible job in the area, and nothing is panning out yet.  It’s time-consuming to apply for jobs, by the way.  And it’s not like in the olden days where you actually heard back from places you applied to.

One place I went to on Thursday, I was interviewed by a kid who just turned 21. I know that, because he told me he still hadn’t taken his first officially-legal drink yet. And then he told me about the awesome growth potential with the company, because, “Look at me, I started a year ago, and now here I am behind the desk, interviewing you!”

I don’t know exactly what was meant by that.

But then it got better.  He told me, “We hire young, cool people to work here. Tell me why we should hire you.”

The job itself sounded like a dream.

It involved going around to the houses of people who call to complain about their gas bills, and getting them back into a fixed rate vs. a variable rate or some shit along those lines.

I inquired about what sorts of neighborhoods we canvass to accomplish this auspicious task, which frankly sounds like a job that could be more safely handled over the phonelines, but hey, what do I know compared to the young, cool kids.

Nothing, that’s what I know.

This morning I received a text message from a temp agency I applied to, they are looking for help to clean an office building Monday and Tuesday.

I’m totally on board with that and replied Yes, Sure, I can do that!

But then I started wondering what sort of office cleaning we’d be doing.

My concern deepened when they said in another text, “Be sure to wear work boots.”

Reader.  I don’t have work boots. I have bad knees and a 52 year old back. I’m neither young nor cool enough to work on gas bill complaints (as was evidenced by my not getting a call back), much less do the jobs that require work boots.

The “office cleaning” job was actually cleaning up a demo site, they are pulling out the ceilings and ripping up the floors of some space and need people to haul that crap to dumpsters.

While I would appreciate the very low amount of money I’d be making, I also appreciate what’s left of my knees and the bendiness of my back. So I politely declined.


Although I’d probably look pretty cute in a hard hat, sometimes you have to say no, even if you can’t really afford it.

Know your limits.

Mine is right around the “wear work boots” line.

I’m more aligned with “wear comfy sneakers” tasks.

Let’s face facts, Reader. I can barely carry stuff upstairs to my office, and need one free hand to hold the railing while doing so.

There is no way I’m a work-boots-demo-clean-up Trixie Bang Bang kinda girl. She was thirty years ago. She remodeled two houses and hauled construction trash and once even fell down the steps doing so, but was able to bounce back up and keep on truckin’.

This version of Trixie? Would be in traction.

Where, o’ where are all the “cuddle kittens in your pajamas” jobs?

Or the cake sampling jobs?

Comeon, Workforce. Work with me.


2 thoughts on “Under Construction

  1. You’re killing me smalls,I know you will get that, because of your announced 52 years, and because ahem, i get it.

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