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The Bang Bang Theories

The Longest Shortest Month

Hi, Reader, Hi.

I’ve been s*i*c*k  for a gol’dern week already.

Not “deathbed sick,” just a cough that won’t quit, and is so severe I think I expelled my uterus. And probably other internal body parts got all discombobulated and probably aren’t where they’re supposed to be any longer, either.

Food tastes blecky. That’s a combo of blah and yucky.  Right at this very moment I’m trying to eat an English Muffin w/ a little slice of chicken on it to get some protein in my bod, but it’s too blecky. The muffin with a small swimming pool of butter is just okay.

Despite all that blecky feeling going on around Chez Bang Bang, I’m still trying to rally into some form of productivity around here. My friendie was over and she was helping me get some shiz organized and I have to say, seeing my shiz through HER eyes have made me realize I’m not krazee – we have far far far too much shizzz around here.  We have a million little things.

This friendie also twisted my arm and pulled my hair, FORCING me to sign up for a flea market/craft sale thingamajig this past Saturday. I had one day to figger out what the what was going to make it onto my eight feet of retail space.  We pulled together a bunch of greeting card products and paper goods that were – no jokie – 20 years old. The napkins were for New Year 2000! So I must have picked them up in 1999?? This friendie told me I was forbidden from bringing any of those napkins back into the house, so I forced them on gave them away to every person who walked by.

But JUST NOW I wished I had kept those year 2000 napkins and had a party using them, just to confuse everyone. We always miss it when it’s gone, Reader.

Friendie also pointed out I have more greeting cards than I could ever send in a lifetime, so a whole buncha very spensive $10 cards went at 4/$1.  Keep in mind, Reader, my years at the Card Mines are the reason for this accumulation. Cards came to me easily and freely.

Do I feel lighter now after selling some stuff?


I still have a buncha stuff I’ll never use.

Do I feel richer?


I made about $14 after all was said and done. And I spent that on potato chips and Lawson’s chip dip, because feed a cough chip dip is an old wive’s cure.

Do I feel inspired to keep getting rid of stuff?

Yes. But jeez. There’s just so much.

I posted a buncha crap valuable items on The Facebook and sold $75 worth of stuff in a matter of minutes. Some of it to my friends, which I would really just like to have an open house and have everyone I know stop in and pick out what they want to save me a whole buncha posting effort.

Did I learn a lesson that I need to stop shlepping shit to flea markets and just post it online?

Yes. Yes I did.

Today my goal is to clean and take photos of a giant box of stuff and then sit back and watch the Bennys roll in.

And here you’ve been thinking I’ve been sitting around doing nothing except neglecting you, Dear Reader.  I’ve been neglecting Me, actually, to the point that I had to get out of bed at three a.m. the other night to shave my hairy-AF legs because they were prickling me THROUGH my pajamas.

So that’s the state of affairs at Chez Bang Bang.

I’m sick. But recovering-ish.

My legs are smooth. Smoother. For a moment.

Closets are cleaning out. Slowly slowly.  But it’s gotta start somewhere.

It’s all gotta start somewhere.


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