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The Bang Bang Theories

Tilt My Head for New Perspective

The highlight of my day so far, Reader, has been getting my license renewed at the DMV* today, Reader.

Let that sink in.

The best part of my day.

Was being #70 when they were on #60.

At the license renewal place.

Where every. single. person.

Dreads going.

I sort of skipped in and happily grabbed my number, because it was an escape from Alcatraz*, at least for an hour, and I saw the sunshine.

*Alcatraz, because my work building’s neighborhood is in a sketchy part of town so there is a fence surrounding the joint with barbed wire all across the top. I don’t know if that’s to keep us in or keep people out, quite frankly.

And also, Kenny and I disagree on whether it’s the DMV or the BMV, I keep calling it the DMV; he disagrees.

We also disagreed on how to spell the word “blond” as I had it without the “e” because that is one unnecessary “e,” and he said it has the “e” so he asked Almighty Google and apparently the Feminine version is with the “e” and the Masculine version is without but I vote for my Gender Neutral version and I’m not sure what that is exactly, but spelling just got a lot more difficult at the DMV.

While at the DMV, I realized that I left my driving glasses in my car door, which had me fretting about the eye exam. The last time I took it, I only passed it due to a little bit of grace. I can see, Reader. I just can’t see-see.

This conversation happened when I was told to go to the eye test machine and look inside:

Me: “Um, are there letters and numbers, or just numbers?”

Her: “Do you see letters??”

Kenny: Picks up my purse, prepares to leave.

Me: “Well, I’m only asking because the first thing could either be an 8 or a B.”

Her: “Only numbers.”

So then I passed, but let me tell you I wasn’t sure I was going to so I just talked really fast to confuse her a little.

It must have worked.

I got a new picture, and because I wasn’t planning on getting it renewed today I had no time to panic prep, and maybe that’s the solution to my pictures for me because it turned out okay enough and didn’t involve a whole lot of effort. Or maybe I’m just a natural beauty. Ahem.

I also found out in this new fangled world we’re living in, there are now two kindz of licenses you can have: one federal ID or just a regular old boring driver’s license. To get the Fed ID you need all sorts of extra papers, and I do have to say I was pleased as punch when Kenny was able to locate my social security card, passport and two bills with my name and address. The bills part was the most difficult as I toss that crap out almost immediately, and get most of it online.

Now I’m all fancy with my federal ID, or will be in thirty days or less, and that was the best part of my day. So far, anyway. I’m planning on redeeming it just a little by heading up to see some friendies at the bowling alley, because everyone knows all the magic happens at the bowling alley. At least some good laughs should happen there. And a drink. And maybe a piece of chicken or something. 

Oh, p.s., I think I actually licked an envelope yesterday that had been cat peed on.  So there was that. Hashtag LivingMyBestLife.

p.p.s. that last sentence probably should have been it’s own blog, but I mean, what else is there really to say about that.  I licked it. It tasted like pee. I was sad. Someone’s getting that card in the mail anyway. Merry Christmas.


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