So you know how at the end of that last post I mentioned that I had placed my first online order at The Walmart and was scadoodling on out to pick ‘er up?
In an unexpected turn of events, while on route I had an email that my order was cancelled. Just like that. No explanation noted.
Dear The Walmart, this is not getting us off on a good footing together, ya know.
Since I still needed all the stuff I’d wasted my time ordering, we continued onward to just do it the old-fashioned way, by actually going into the store and selecting the items needed, putting them in a buggy with my own two hands and cashing out with an actual human instead of online.
While I was there I saw several of the online order shopper people in their bright yellow vests, selecting things and checking them off their lists. I mosey’d on over and and asked two young fellas who were picking produce if they would happen to know why I had placed an order on Saturday, and then on my way there, it had cancelled all on it’s own.
One of the young fellas turned to me and no exaggeration, his eyes were BLOODY RED where they should have been white and I almost screamed WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYES!! but I caught myself and instead asked my question all casual-like, and not at all like my thoughts of THAT SHIT LOOKS CONTAGIOUS AND SHOULD YOU BE HANDLING SOMEONES POTATOES? AND I’M SO GLAD IT’S NOT MY POTATOES!!! And then I said a little note to self that maybe this is why I need to just go select my own damn produce.
Anyhoo, the reply was, “Yeah, that happened today. All the systems crashed. They cancelled a buncha orders.”
So there it is. They just willy-nilly-nelson cancelled a whole “buncha” orders, and mine happened to be one.
I have a different theory, actually, and it is, “We will not let everyone shop online, because we need those impulse purchases! And she’s a girl who can deliver on those!”
And they were right. Because while my online order was sixty-nine dollars and some change, my actual in-store shopping extravaganza resulted in a $200.77 whop-a-palooza. And I still forgot to get avocados.
However! While we were there browsing around, I decided that since a $13 tablecloth was on my original shopping list, I was going to pick that up because it was a planned purchase.
I was digging a little floral number in from the Pioneer Woman collection, who, let’s just be real here, if you are into florals, her stuff is cute-cute-cute. I found a pretty table cloth from her collection, and then lovely caressed these bowls:
Me, dreamily: “Wouldn’t these be so pretty to have?? They have a footed base.”
MM: “NO! THESE bowls are NICE BOWLS.Why can’t we have something like this??” 
Me: “Those aren’t pretty! The flowers are pretty!”
MM: “My bowls could kick your bowls ass.”
And then I laughed and had to agree, that if there were to be a fight between the bowls his selection could probably kick my bowls ass.
Since bowls were not on the original shopping list, we left them all on the shelves where they belonged and still somehow managed to spend a hundred & thirty bucks more than my original order.
Well played, Walmart. Well played.