web analytics
The Bang Bang Theories

Soft Belly. Hot Pie.

I was leaving you with the same old post since last week, Reader, and for that I apologize so I decided to at least put up a cute picture of Wally’s soft tummy. Because I know you depend on me for a two-minute distraction when you should be doing something productive. We all have our responsibilities in life. I’m fine with that being one of mine.

That’s Walter WhiteEars, sitting pretty in his cat tower.  He’s the official Soft-Off Champion of Chez Bang Bang.

Oh, what is a Soft-Off, you ask?

Well. There used to be some debate on which of my eight three cats had the most delicious fur.

There is some soft competition around here including this belly:

So naturally, there was some debate.

We solved this by having a Triple-Blind Soft-Off Challenge.

One evening about a year or so ago I came home from work and my brother was here. We were discussing the softness of the kittens, because why discuss other less important world matters, and we decided to settle it then and there.

We moved a chair to the middle of the room and I grabbed my sleeping mask as the official Soft-Off blindfold. One at a time, cat bellies were presented to me for a quick pet, and I had to not only guess which of my eight three cats it belonged to, but then determine who was softer, much like the eye doctors test where they show you two things and you have to decide which is better or worse, which often just becomes a really tough guessing game and quite frankly brings a lot of unnecessary pressure.

My brother and My Mister mixed it up so ensure objectivity in the test, and would sometimes present the same cat belly – unknowing to me – to ensure the blinded petter (me) was staying true to the decision.

Time and time again, Walter WhiteEars was the unanimous winner.  His fur needs to be touched to be believed, quite frankly.

Lest you think it was just myself who had softness bias, both The Brother and The Mister also took the official Soft-Off Chair, donned the official Soft-Off Blindfold and proceeded with the same belly-petting test.

This challenge was tougher than one might imagine. You didn’t want the blinded petter to grab too much belly or it would be quite easy to tell who was who, and bias may have played a role. So we guided the hand, with a pet to a smaller area. Because we take our Soft-Offs seriously around here.

Competition was fierce, pitting softness against fluffiness.

One might think that since the brothers look alike, they would feel alike, too.

One would be wrong.

This? The softest tummy in town.

Officially determined by a Triple-Blind Soft-Off.

And now? You have just another glimmer of the excitement that goes on around Chez Bang Bang.

You’re welcome.

And oh, ps, this was a whole lot more fun – and dry – than dumping a bucket of ice over your head.

And pss., My Mister just took a Razzleberry pie outta the oven, and we are going to now eat pie at 1 a.m. on a Sunday night. Because that’s some of the other excitement that goes on around here. It’s a wild ride, Reader.




Scroll To Top