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The Bang Bang Theories

Case Closed.

It’s a banner day at Chez Bang Bang – look what turned up!


The Case of the Missing Baggie of Jewelry has been solved, Reader! And surprise, surprise – it wasn’t, in fact, taken by a thieving jewelry ghost after all.

I turned drawers and boxes and bags upside down looking for this bag o’ things. I said a lot of prayers to St. Anthony and every other Finders of Lost Things that I could think of, and panic was starting to set in a bit because I feared it was L-O-S-T for good because why else couldn’t I find it after I’d seen it ON MY DRESSER???  I mean, really, it was THERE, I swear to it on a stack of cats.

The answer finally came to me where all my great ideas develop – in the shower. My brain said, “Hey, what if you actually never really did see it in the house like you think you did? Where would it be then?”

So I gave that some thought and the only other rational place could be my laptop bag, because I carry my jewelry with me through security and my laptop bag was my carryon from my last trip to Chicago, ya know, that trip wherein I was sick and cherry NyQuil spilled throughout my luggage and I cried.

By the time I got to work I forgot all about checking my laptop bag, because I fear early dementia is setting in, I’m almost fifty, ya know. It’s looking like it’s going to be an all-downhill old age for Trixie Bang Bang, at the pace we’re going, and I don’t mean the “all-downhill” as in “smooth-sailing on coast” but in the “oh, shit, we’re going to crash at the bottom” kinda all-downhill.

Luckily for me, I decided to do a little work this weekend so I picked up my laptop bag to pack up my computer. It was then that I remembered my bright idea and checked the pocket and lo’ and behold, the bag o’ jewels and other assorted things were RIGHT THERE.


Also in that bag was my Fitbit, which surprisingly enough, I didn’t miss at all. Speaking of which, why is there such an attraction to the Fitbit? I mean, I myself had to have the newest and latest, I had the Zip, which attached to my waistband, from years ago, but figured the new tracker band would be better and make me skinny once and for all because it’s right there in my face and would motivate me to get up and take more steps.

Nay nay, Reader. Apparently it doesn’t have magic powers to motivate me, and all it really does is make my wrist sweaty and I can’t even sleep with it on to track my zzz’s, because of said sweatiness and bulky plastic-ness on my wrist. So a giant waste of $150.

But Optimistic Bang Bang took it with her on her trip anyway, because she wanted all that walking around to be tracked. She didn’t wear it, by the way. Because it’s bulky and sweaty.

But back to the bag. My two favorite sterling necklaces were there, along with three bracelets, one which was a gold band my mother wore daily so yeah, very important to me, and my newest favorite necklace that has a bunch of gemstones that were blessed by Amma Sri Karunamayi when I received my spiritual blessing from her in June.

So all that, in one little baggie. Finally found. It was an Oh, Happy Day! around here after that. Such great importance, and yet it still sits out on my kitchen countertop. You’d think I’d learn, Reader, and would have put it right away for safe keeping, but again, you’d be wrong.

I plan on doing that today, though. It’s on the Sunday Agenda. And while I’m at it, consolidating those four jewelry boxes down to two, getting a pile of stuff I don’t wear ever to sell or donate, and getting one step closer to the Magic of Tidying Up around here. And cleaning litter boxes. That’s always part of the plan with a clowder of this size.

Don’t envy my day, Reader. It’s not as glamorous as it seems.

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