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The Bang Bang Theories

Because Facebook Says So.

Shaking My Mister awake from a dead sleep this morning: “We need to start cuddling more.”

MM: “harumpff.snore.snort.gurgle.huh?”

Me: “I read it on Facebook. Cuddling is good for you and solves a lot of shit, like anxiety and depression and stuff.”

MM: Rolls over, wrapping himself up in a cocoon of blankets. “Whaaaaaa???” Cocks an eye open. “~whimper~”. 

Me: “We HAVE to do it. Facebook says so. Now roll the fuck over here and give me some cuddles. It’ll be good for our relationship.”

MM: Finally rolls in my directions, whimpers more as he raises his arms towards me.   

Me: Climbs in for the hug. 

“You need to use both arms. Get your bad breath out of my face.” 

Me: “We’re going to do this every morning and evening. Two hours before work, from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m., and from 10 p.m. to midnight.”

MM: “NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo. no. please no.” 

Me: “Oh, it’s happening. And you’re going to like it.”

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