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The Bang Bang Theories


Hey-Ho, Reader! Sunday night is upon me once again. I’m sort of ahead of the game from where I normally am on a Sunday night, which means that I’ve gotten a few chores done and my Sunday night work done before 11 p.m. which is a huge score in my books. I do need to do a little laundry, but it’s not dire yet. 

Saturday was a restorative day. Hour and a half hot stone massage, a delicious cup of Starbucks (a treat nowadays, not all all-the-time thing), and then giant filets and good wine with good friends.  At the end of all that fun we made an impromptu decision to see a movie so we ended up seeing Olympus Has Fallen because it was starting when we got there. It was a good movie. However. 

10:35 on a Saturday night may not be the optimum time to see a movie without facing serious shenanigan disruptions by rude rude rude human beings. 

I mean, I guess it’s not as bad as say, getting shot up in a theater, but other than that, people just have no manners anymore in a societal environment. 

Two groups of rudes were talking behind me, and just carrying on and falling all out and laughing (when it didn’t call for laughter!), and I finally turned around and gave them a fierce and harsh shushing.

Yes, I shushed them. I’m a shusher. 

I debated not shushing them for fear of getting a shiv in the back of my head but I decided I’d risk it because what the fuck is wrong with people, someone needs to take control of the situation. 

Surprisingly, they shut the fuck up. For the entire rest of the movie. 

You could say me & My Mister were both shocked it was so effective. 

A little later on some man at the top of the rows yelled out something like, “Mind your bidniz, Bitch!” (not at me, another movie-going bitch) and then a few minutes later theater workers and the policeman rushed up the steps and I guess they did something because everyone simmered down after that and we watched the remainder of the movie without incident.

We don’t normally have that much movie theater drama. But apparently it’s going to riff-raff there, or it was just the 10:30-on-a-Saturday-night timeframe. 

All I could hear was my father’s voice in my head stating why he doesn’t want to go to a movie theater, because, “All those gol’darn people tawkin’ and care’in’ on” and you know what? He’s right. 

There was a lot of care’in’ on.

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