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The Bang Bang Theories

Keep Sealed For Freshness

You know what no one ever says? 
“Boy, my ~insert anything here~ is really improving with age.” 

My vision is getting bad. I officially need reading glasses, for my iPhone and computer if I’m not on Zoom In mode. 

People who boast that their anything gets better with age? Liars. 

I’ve thought long and hard about what I could say that’s better, and the only thing that’s better is stuff you can pay to make better – for instance, my hair is a little better, because I can afford better hair care. But other than that? It’s all downhill. 

Eyes. Tits. Teeth. Stretchability. Quickness. Sleep. 

Yep. Even sleep betrays you as you get older. 21-year-olds don’t have insomnia. They call that a perfectly good reason to stay out dancing. 

Do you have anything that got better with age, Reader? Share. I mean your own shit, not like “I have a better house” stuff. 

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