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The Bang Bang Theories

Quick & Dirty

By the numbers: 1/ It was a quiet Saturday in St. Croix today. I had expected a lot out of this island, perhaps too much. We signed up for a Scenic Beach & Island tour and it was a snoozer. We were the youngest 2 on the bus, and the driver was Charlie Three-Times, saying everything at least 3 times. And pointing out really stupid stupid shit…er, “sights.” For instance, the Kmart. A restaurant (of no signifance). A lumbar yard. Three times. On the left is a Kmart. A Kmart is on the left. Looking to your left is the Kmart. I took a nap. Maybe I was in fact really the oldest-timer on the bus, everyone else managed to stay awake. The upnote was that I found a cool piece of jewelry. Joanne did, too. And we had a piece of rum cake from a little shop that buys it from a 100+ year old Jamaician woman who is liberal with the rum. 2/ We are packed up and ready to head for home. Boo. But yay, too, because it’s always a little bitter-sweet. I feel as if I’ve been gone a long time. 3/ The bed on this ship is super-duper uncomfortable. My left arm, which is always a little twingy from some neck nerve damage is quite numb, all the way across my hands and fingers. I attribute it to the shitty bed and pillow situation. I’ll be happy to be back on my home bed territory tomorrow. 4/ Joanne has caught a bit of a cold. She’s holed up in the room on this last night. But she did manage to get one hell-ov-a tan on this vacation. She is a brown little berry. I am scaly and blistery and red. Wish I were exaggerating about the blisters. Okay, I’ve just successfully used up the rest of my internet minutes. I’ll be home soon. Then, it will be the vacation slide show. And perhaps I will talk you through it, repeating myself three times with each photo. Wouldn’t that be fun?

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