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The Bang Bang Theories

Snack Attack

I’m a big fat blogging liar. I have not shared my 2nd life-list item yet. I’m too busy. Why does it take so much work to get ready to leave for vacation? Just the Girl Maintenance alone is exhausting! Factor in a long cold winter and just tending to all the hair is a 2-day, 2-salon event. Sheesh.

Tonight was nails & spray-on tan. Those were the last of the Girl Chores. Now, I have to finish packing my bags, gathering up all the odds & ends I need, taking out the trash and putting away as much laundry as I can possibly stand to handle.

So that’s how I will be spending the evening, as soon as I hoist myself up outta this chair.

Oh, by the way, Stanley’s doing pretty crappy tonight. Kenny’s out of town, he comes home on Sunday, and I hope the cat can muster through until he returns. I just have to go on vacation and let life unfold the way it is going to unfold. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not dying today or anything, but he is finicky-eating which is a bad sign. I just can’t do much about it that doesn’t involve a trip to the pet emergency, and there’s nothing they could do anyway. It is what it is. I hope that Kenny can get him to eating a little bit better. It’s worrying me a little, in the back of the brain kind of worry, but I can’t fix it at the moment.

I can, however, fix my toenails, and those I shall be painting tonight. No, no pedicure, just a Shellac on the fingertips.

Now, if I could only lose 50 lbs. before the morrow….

Ah well. I am who I am, it is what it is, all ya can do is roll with it and enjoy life with a smile. I may be posting an update from the high seas, but we are really jam-packed with stops on this trip. Starting Tuesday, we stop every day of the trip, right up until we come home on Sunday. Only one day to read at the pool. And to think I paid $26 for a hardcover book from Borders, because I was afraid my first vacation book selection wouldn’t last me the duration of the trip. With only 1 reading day, I’ll be lucky to crack into it.

Enjoy your new month, Reader. I didn’t even have the opportunity to April Fool’s anyone. Oh! But my vagina played a little April Fool’s jokie on me. Yep, she tricked me. I’ve been a-waiting on my menses to arrive, and waiting, and waiting, but she was a no-show. Nothing since the beginning of February. I was hoping for it last week, get it out of the way before vacation. But instead? She said “April Fool’s, Fucker! Here ya go, my little vacation gift for you!”. I think it’s the way the Universe is making sure I don’t give my virginity away to a Puerto Rican, as I’ve been teasing My Mister that I was going to do since our overlapping vacations have created a sexual dry spell. The Universe is trying to keep me true. And possibly get me eaten by a shark.

I hope I’m not a shark snack.
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