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The Bang Bang Theories

The Mouths of Babes.

Very early on Black Friday morn, when most people were getting up for crazy shopping, and me and my mister had just rolled into the house, me loaded up on long island iced teas.

“Kenny?!! Kennnny!! Come and help me!!”

“Help you do what?? I’m in bed already!”

“I want you to just hold my toothbrush for me and I’ll move my head back and forth.”

“You want me to what?? Um. Get your drunkass to bed.”

“I can’t go to bed without brushing my teeth!”

Somehow, without any assistance at all, I managed to paste, hold and move my toothbrush around my teeth. Since he wasn’t going to hold it for me, whereas I could just move my head back and forth. Is it just me who thinks that was a little unsupportive of my mister?!?

You can’t find good help any more.

Oh, and p.s., he also violated Drunkard Rule #33: He let me drink and socialize, socializing being used in the loosest sense of the word. After a certain number of drinks, he’s supposed to keep me segregated from the public. It’s for the best of everyone involved. I think many things came out of my mouth, and I’m pretty sure wieners were part of the nonversation.
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