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The Bang Bang Theories

Aisle 6

I – perhaps these are lofty ideals of myself – tend to think of myself as being of medium intellect, and in some circumstances, compared with certain populations, even above-average with my knowledge. While I don’t have an exceptional command of the English language, I do like to think that I know some words. So I was taken aback when I was at Giant Eagle tonight, a different store from my norm, and saw this on an overhead sign:

Aseptic? I wonder how many people in Parma go into the store looking for the Aseptic aisle. Apparently enough to way-find it. I saw only assorted beverages down the aisle. Of course I had to Google this immediately when I arrived home and it made a little more sense:

aseptics, (used with a singular verb) a system of packaging sterilized products in airtight containers so that freshness is preserved for several months.

But really? I’m still not convinced this is a good caption call-out. But I do guarantee that the next time I wander in to Giant Eagle, I’m going to saunter up to any clerk I can find and ask if they can tell me where to find the aseptics.

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